My Life iN Singapore....

Nervous... Super nervous...

2012-01-06T19:40:00.002+08:00

So, hey everyone.

Current news and people are buzzing about the O lvl results' date. It's on 9 January 2012 at 2 pm at school.

I am currently feeling.... Ok?

Ok, the truth is I am very nervous thinking about it. And well, when I am panicking and nervous, I always said "Oh my God!"

So far, I've repeated that to all my friends who mentioned it.... -.-" LET ME DIE....

Anyways, I watched a movie called American Mall years ago. It was an average movie but, the beautiful thing about is the songs in it.

One of the song is 'Clear' and right now, it depicts how all of us graduate students feel. The lyrics kinda described about the choices that we are making and when will it be clear to us whether we made the right choice or not.

Right now, this is what I'm feeling.

I feel as if I'm trapped in a bubble, don't know when will it burst and let me breathe for once. I am suffocating in it, trying to claw my way out and this song kinda made me realize that the bubble that I'm in right now has holes.... for me to breathe.... -.-" Ok, now it is kind of a lame expression for it but it kinda fits ya know...?

Ok. Stop with the lame expression, get it.....

more like stupid expression...... O.O

Anyway, here's the link to the song. :))

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJHRkWmfwNM

P.S. Good luck everyone!! Hope all of us will survive... ;)

Happy New Year's Eve

2011-12-31T20:33:00.002+08:00

Yo peeps!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE!!

So, in a few hours, it will be a new year of 2012... :)

So, what are your resolutions?

Me? Well, mine consist of :

1. Be more understanding

2. Be more patient

3. Stay cool... (ok, that is NOT really a resolution but oh well, I'm weird, who cares?!)

4. Be hardworking

5. Enjoy life

6. Keep in touch with my friends :))

so, that is lots of resolutions... haha

But, I will try my best to stick by it and to live by it.

MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL....

FRIENDS ARE FOREVER, TREASURE THEM, CHERISH THEM, DON'T LOSE THEM.

TRUE FRIENDS WILL STAY TIL' THE END OF TIME. ;)

Hope the others will stand by their resolutions and will stick by it. Hope everyone will enjoy their new year and have a memorable one! :)

Song for today :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ob7vObnFUJc&ob=av2e

a song by the one of the most amazing singer in the world, Beyonce! :)

P.S. HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012! in advance...... ;) Enjoy!

Merry Christmas peeps!

2011-12-30T14:26:00.002+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS PEEPS!

NOW PREPARE FOR THE NEW YEAR CELEBRATION!!

OK, basically hyper here about the new year cause my relatives are here and well, we can celebrate it TOGETHER!

Anyways, don't know when I'm going to meet with my friends cause the others are also not confirmed.

Ok, to cheer you all up, here's a cute video of two of the funniest and goofiest artists to this day, singing in this vid. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSq1cez_flQ&feature=player_embedded#!

P.S. TOTALLY WORTH WATCHING :)

Just a quickie... :)

2011-12-21T19:08:00.001+08:00

Wow... This is holiday...
Well, can't say that I'm enjoying it to the fullest..
Somehow it is even harder now to meet up with the others..
Anyways, hope we can meet up soon... :S
Relatives are coming today :)
They are going to be here in minutes, I guess?
Hope I'm going to enjoy this before the..... RESULTS!
Oh God, just thinking about it already made my heart beat faster....
Ok, bye and let's see when will I update this blog again... This is so deserted...
Btw, I WANT TO WATCH NEW YEAR'S EVE, MISSION IMPOSSIBLE AND SHERLOCK HOLMES!!

P.S CRAZY ABOUT ROBIN THICKE! ;)

Tower Heist... Now gimme the money, b1t*h XD

2011-11-10T22:43:00.002+08:00

Hey peeps, howdy?

Anyways, been watching the movie Tower Heist. It was surprisingly great and funny!

It was entertaining and not boring AT ALL!

The cast was awesome and finally Ben Stiller is back after a series of movies that are not so uplifting... :)

So, It would be 3.5/5 stars :D

Anyway, I'll update more the next time :))

Bye!

Holiday.... Right?

2011-11-07T16:00:00.003+08:00

So, currently having quite a "holiday" haha...

Not exactly a holiday since we still have the last exam for O lvls which is MCQ for Sci. :)

Anyways, been looking for part time jobs..

Think tomorrow I'll start to attend one interview :)

So, let's hope that it'll be ok and everything will be fine....

Anyways, been wanting to watch The Three Musketeers, though the review had no been so kind to it. Hmph, still love the trailer so, let's just hope it's something that's still quite good to be watched at the cinema.

Graduation Night is almost near, speech is done, waiting for reply from the teacher in charge and currently crazy looking for part time job.

I am literally on the verge of being insane... haha

I don't know why but nowadays it seems so hard for me to talk to any of my friends...

Everyone seems to be so wrapped up in their own lives.. And this is not even the end of the year yet...

I wonder can we still be the same even after we left school? Can we still be BFFs? Is that word even mean something to us? Cause sometimes I wonder whether that word is invented for a split second of happiness.

There are times nowadays that I have to lie to myself about how I'm feeling.. Like all the friends that used to be so caring and stuff are not like that....? I don't know whether it's just me or what, but that's what I'm feeling...

P.S. You said you'll always be there, but maybe that's just a lie.... Maybe we're not meant to be together.... You get wrapped up in your life, and I guess so do I... We don't give a damn anymore and we prefer to stay in our own businesses...

music for today :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DunGvUIAYBw

A little too late - Jojo

O lvl...

2011-11-02T21:41:00.003+08:00

O level is here peeps!

And as I am writing, it will be over soon.... Sooner than I think maybe... :)

Anyways, hope I did good in all the subjects... and for the upcoming tests too...

Ok,so I guess the topic for today is self doubt.

Have you ever doubt yourself? You know what, if you ask me, I will give you the anwer of A LOT. Yes, I doubt myself at a lot of times.

There will be this period of time where I am going to feel so alone, so "emo" and so depressed to the verge of me listening to sad songs all day long.....

Ok, maybe not all day long, but half of my day. O.O

Anyways, my point is that doubting yourself does give you a chance to think over your actions, your lives and what you have achieved so far.

It is actually good to think over everything that you have done and judged it over again whether it is right or wrong, whether your action was a foolish one or a smart one.

But, over doubting yourself is just a wack dude.

Trust me, been there, done that.

My problem is that I always over think things. It can be good cause I will have some sort of plan on how to go ahead. But, the bad thing is that you'll stress yourself and well, let's face it, you become unstable.

Yeah, so I guess you just got to let it flow because face it, there will be times when you have tried your best and hardest, but maybe it's just not good enough. So, what you got to do is just to flaunt it and be strong. Maybe your best is just not perfect enough for that one thing, but there will be other things are destined to be conquered by you, so

GOTTA HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF.

NO ONE ELSE WILL DO IF YOU DON'T START WITH YOURSELF.

So, music for today is :

So Close by Jon Mclaughlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FH8WAoRL1xo

P.S. This song is so worth your time, so just give it a try..... ;) Sayonara

REBORN?!

2011-09-25T14:49:00.002+08:00

Ok..

so two things I'm about to discuss here...

1.Johnny English Reborn

2.F1!

So, actually I've watched Johnny English like a week ago, but I was too lazy to post my comments on it. So, here it is!!

So, basically there were a few elements here that were a bit the same with the first Johnny English. However, this is a newer version (OFCOURSE!) and it has more actions and explosions and for sure, more idiocy. :D

Rowan Atkinson, who is such an expert in physical humor, added this element to the movie and might I add, successfully. :)

It was safe to say that it was funny though ofcourse, not as funny as the old Mr.Bean :)

However, it is understandable as it is can't be compared with Mr. Bean. It was actually a bit James Bond-ish.

And the romance is more believable than the first one (hint:Natalie Imbruglia) and the leading lady is much better (in romance category, for kicking ass is still Natalie Imbruglia).

Anyways, I rated it 3.5/5 stars. :))

Ok, so now about F1.

It was my first time seeing it on Friday. It was very crowded and a lot of foreigners came, especially Westerners. Mine was the green colour pass. :)

My seat was at block A15 and at zone 1. We went from Gate three which was damn far from my seat and we had to walk a LONG way to it.

Notes :it can cause injury, so please people who are going there, do not think of wearing heels, it is so not the time to show off you new heels. Wear flats is acceptable!

After that, we went to see a lot of food and drinks. In the end, bought only mineral waters. Lolzzz

The race itself was kinda cool and fun to watch. Not an avid fan but I think it would have been more enjoyable for those people who are a race maniac. But, nevertheless, it was fun and quite an experience. Kinda awesome to think those famous faces inside the cars, trying to race and we are actually only a few metres away from them!!!!

P.S. This week has been by far the craziest week I've ever had. Not only because of F1, but also because of other crazy things that had happened....

it's sad when you know that you can't move on...

2011-09-21T21:37:00.002+08:00

You know that the most pathetic thing that can happen to you...

is when you can't move on...

and it's sad but it's true...

I guess that's why a lot of people won't open up and prefer to keep their feelings to themselves..

We as humans afraid of lots of things..

Irrational fear and rational..

I still can't decide whether afraid of being in a relationship or opening up to someone is irrational or rational..

We are afraid that they'll hurt us if we get too close and we just don't want to get hurt AGAIN, right?

My opinion is don't be afraid. Being hurt is always a part of our lives. No one can guarantee that you'll not fall down when learning on how to walk or ride your bicycle for the first time. Same case in relationship.

Don't give up and just keep trying. It may not work even though you've tried your hardest to make it work. Maybe it's not you and maybe it's just the person. Being happy is not wrong. Everyone deserves to be happy especially after you've gone through tough times....

Just believe that you deserve to be happy and one day you'll find your happy ending. :)

Songs for today :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gtcwL3Zyo4

Just a kiss - Lady Antabellum

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXwWT2Chx64&feature=fvwp&NR=1

Can't Take My Eyes Off You - Lady Antabellum

Contagion!

2011-09-16T13:18:00.002+08:00

Contagion!!

Who has watched CONTAGION?!

I did I did I did!!

haha... ok... bit nuts here.... XP

Anyways, I watched Contagion yesterday and YES I watched it in the afternoon so I had time to study for EM around evening... :P

Let's see.... What do I think about it?

Well, for starters, it is a very interesting movie. It gave us a glimpse of the government health division or whatever you call it. It is even plausible in real life (as I checked in Yahoo!)

It is not what you called "An INCREDIBLE MOVIE" or "a GREAT MOVIE" . It is more of an interesting movie. And for those of you who don't like long dialogues, stay out of this one. Cause I can assure you it is full with long talks about this disease... Chromosome, cells..... blah blah blah....

But, nevertheless, it is still good to watch and most probably I'll give it 3.5 stars....

Or a B maybe?

Well, anyways, I do enjoy watching it and it is actually something that can happen in real life. It makes me a bit more paranoid about disease and sickness, hygiene and most importantly HAND SANITIZERS... It seems very important to have one...!

So, other than that movie. WHO IS INTERESTED TO SEE JOHNNY ENGLISH REBORN?! ME ME ME ME!

Well, not sure whether I'll watch it in cinemas but I heard it's quite funny?

So, let's see... I"M DYING TO watch it! SO maybe I'll watch it with my sis? Well anyways I want to watch it!!!!

One Day....

2011-09-12T20:54:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow's Geography...

Finished studying it...

Also finished that novel "One Day"

It was seriously touching, funny and weird.

Dex and Em may seem to be an unlikely couple... but they do LOVE each other...

Isn't it weird that you are so absorbed into a book, then BAM! The ending just hits you so loud that you couldn't help but to gape at the "truth" that stared at you between the eyes...

THIS BOOK IS WORTH READING!

Just saying... haha

Anyway, very sleepy now but can't sleep now...

Maybe I'll revise again after this? I'll see.........

P.S. Considering watching the movie... May not be as great as the book but worth watching right?? So, let's just hope it's PG or at least PG-13... Oh wait I can watch NC-16 too! hahaha... it's nice to be 16....lolzz...

MB's Birthday and A goodbye....

2011-09-10T15:58:00.002+08:00

Voila!

Yesterday was Michael Buble's birthday!

Therefore, I wished him a very wonderful celebration and happiness all year round.. :)

I posted three different messages on his Facebook wall, Tory's facebook wall and through Twitter!

Anyway, my aunt and her family went back home today. Honestly, I didn't feel as sad as the last time. Maybe because I know that she'll be back next time~ :)) (kinda get used to it....)

Totally miss my cousins, their presences are very very entertaining.

Btw, my aunt lent me her books! She lent me two books by the title of Fetish and Split. Both books are by Tara Moss.

Did research about her. Turns out she is an Australian model, ok maybe former model cause now she concentrates more on writing. Totally loved it~!!!

It is more of a thriller kind of book! So far, I finished Fetish (superb!) and going through Split. :)

Since my aunt only has these two books, I'm going to find the sequels... Possibly through borrowing them from the libraries. :D

And one thing for sure, I don't want this holiday to end..... :))

P.S. I laughed A LOT during this holiday because of my cousins....

2011-09-04T19:19:00.003+08:00

Hey hey peeps!

I just got back from the oh so fabulous MBS hotel!

Anyways, I have uploaded the remedial schedule for those who are interested in joining it and you can check it out now!

So, first of all, I haven't done the holiday homework! None of it! So, I have a lot to crack up now.

Second of all, my nails have grown longer so I really need to cut them!! hahaha

Thirdly, I have been reading a lot of stories from WattPad, can't believe that these "amateurs" are actually very talented!

So, so far, the holiday has been a blast. :)

Need to revise again and I have to start cracking up my brain again.

So, been considering to write stories, and NO, it's not because Nadege did it, it's just I have been trying to do it since Primary and well, let's just say none of them have ever been finished.

So, maybe I should put up an acc at Wattpad where no one knows me and I should upload it??? Oh well, let's see! Maybe I will, Maybe I won't.... :P

Another matter is GRADUATION NIGHT!

WHO IS GOING?? Ok, bet you are screaming ME ME ME! Or maybe you are giving me this look and said No... OK. My point is, whatever choices you are going to make just remember that Graduation Night exists so that you can actually enjoy your last time of being secondary school students together no matter how old or how nerd-ish you are! :)

You can say that it has no boundaries. :))

Let's just hope that graduation night is going to be a blast cause I'm planning on going! :))

Anyways, gotta go now and do my homeworks so bye bye!

P.S. Song for today is...... Here We Go Again-Demi Lovato :) It has been stuck in my head since today :))

Staying at MBS :)

2011-09-03T13:35:00.002+08:00

What's up people! :)

So, I am staying at Marina Bay Sands hotel now! :D Going to stay until Sunday :)

Feel kinda relaxed now... Feel happier that I finished my DnT! It's like somebody lifted my burden! Anyways, my cousins are insane and they're only 1 and 4 year old. ;)

So, been in love all over again with HSM songs! :D

I wish they would make another sequel to it, but I don't think they will. And even if they do, they won't cast the old casts again!

Aren't you just in love with Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens, such a pity that they broke up! :(

Well, let's just hope for the best for both of them! They seem to be handling themselves pretty well.

As we all know, Zac is up for a new movie which is New Year's Eve which is full of amazing casts! On the other hand, his ex-gf, Vanessa Hudgens is going to star in the sequel of Journey to The Centre of The Earth which is called Journey 2:The Mysterious Island. Rumour is she is going steady with her partner in this movie which is Josh Hutcherson. Ok, I sound like a gossip journalist here but can't help it. Teen stars these days.....

So, let's just hope that I'm going to enjoy my stay here :))

Peace out peeps and ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY!!!

heartbreaking....

2011-09-01T19:04:00.003+08:00

Today was a day that was full of laughter and tears.

Just picture this, on one side, kids were laughing around, having fun and on the other hand is a picture of a dying man in a hospital bed surrounded by his relatives.

Today, I learnt of two "not so happy" events. Let's just say they're very sad and heartbreaking.

RIP....

I'm going to miss you a lot, even though we never even talk much but I know you meant a lot as their friend.....

Today, both families must find the courage to be strong and face the reality.

When tragedy hits, everyone must be prepared for this unending battle, it is a battle that you must win no matter what.

Anyways, today I was suppose to go to the beach, but then I was too sleepy. Thus, the beach gotta wait.

When you lost someone important in your life, there are no words to describe it. It was as if someone left a hole in your chest and nobody tried to cover it up....

When someone you loved was hurt, all you can do is try to comfort them to the best of your ability, but inside you know that you can do nothing to fix it.

When you're gone

I sat on the edge of my bed,

reminiscing about our old memories

it seems not far away since the last time you told me you loved me

you kissed me ever so softly then told me there's no going back

what's done is done

I just stared at you and a tear escaped

You laid down at the clean white sheets

Doctors walked around you with reassuring expressions

but you know your time is near

you kissed me again and this time, you said your goodbye

"take care of our daughter, hon" with your last breath

then you're gone like the dust in the wind

so, when you're gone, I cried the whole night through

but nothing seems to ease the pain....

so let me live with the pain and let me try to piece back my broken heart...

"Broken," I whispered to myself

that's how my heart is, broken

when you're gone, everything escaped my knowledge

and all that's left is nothing but emptiness....

song for today:

Someone Like you - Adele

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAc83CF8Ejk&ob=av2e

Jerk.... Big ass dumb jerk....

2011-08-26T14:51:00.003+08:00

Yep..

Something happened today and well let's just say it's not so nice!!!

I am freaking pissed! I just don't get him anymore and let's just say that I am sick and tired of this!!!!
Do NOT EVER message me again! U dumb jerk ass.... THank you for being frank at least now we got that clear right?!

Any girl who wants to be with you are totally unlucky!!!

LET ME REPEAT UNLUCKY!

Who do you think you are?! You do not know me and and you do not have the right to judge me!

WE NEVER EVEN SPOKE AT SCHOOL!

AND LET ME TELL YOU THIS, I NEVER LIKE YOU! DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE DROOLING ALL OVER YOU CAUSE YOU JUST MADE A BIG MISTAKE!

REPEAT I DO NOT AND NEVER LIKE YOU!

P.S. honestly... you made me feel unworthy to be loved and to be cared about... thanks a lot I guess, go and chase your girl... i am stupid to believe everything you said...

MT O LVL RESULTS AND THE RESULT IS............!!

2011-08-18T21:21:00.002+08:00

So.....

THE BIG WAIT IS OVER.... (FOR NOW)

MY MOTHER TONGUE O LVL RESULTS WAS ANNOUNCED TODAY.....

AND THE RESULT IS......

I GOT AN A1!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!

The waiting for it is over. :)

I was very relieved and happy and blessed at the same time:)

So, at express stream only me and Del got distinctions...

Cikgu was hoping for more, but oh well... At least it's a 100% pass for express stream! :D

Now, gotta bulk up for the other subjects...

Btw, Mr. Tan Joo Huat talked to me today...

He asked me what's my problem with DnT... Then, I told him bla bla bla.....

Well, he asked me not to be stressed too much.... Ok... *currently sighing as I a writing...

Anyways, found this cool song. It's by Jason Mraz...:) you should give it a try...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oieBnV_HFB0&NR=1

Another nice song by Jason Mraz... Haha you should give it a try!! It's funny and nice! :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdryssUmlpE&feature=relmfu

P.S. I don't know why... But, these days, I feel like I am slipping away from reality and not moving forward.....

Cousins are here! :)

2011-08-16T22:55:00.002+08:00

My cousins are here!! :)

They are still the same, small and cute except for the little baby girl! She can walk now!! :D

SO HAPPY XD

Anyway, tomorrow's English oral for O lvl !

Scared? Heck yeah! Well, gotta do my best! Have to do better than my MT oral... Have to give 110% for it and I know that I can do it, if I just believe!

Ok, that sounds cheesy but yeah... hehe

So, now I have to take care of my cousins too since I am considered a very "mature" teenager...

<.<

Well, let's just hope that the next few days will be smooth as a river... :)

Thursday ~ MT O LVL RESULTS

Friday ~ DPA RESULTS

P.S. Is it normal if I feel dying now? Cause these schedules are going to kill me alive....

anyways, to make myself "sane" I listened to a lot of songs, one of them is by Blue. It is called fly by....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDDoLb3o1lI

enjoy~!

Nothing to do....

2011-08-13T23:10:00.003+08:00

Lalalalala...

Bored...

Ok, the purpose of writing this is to give me something to do...

Think I should revise for any lesson.....

ok, no point in writing this.... Lolzzzz XD

Ok, so why am I writing this now????

REASONS

1. I hope my bestie is kinda fine now...

2. Boredom

3. Just finished watching the movie Mermaids and the TV series (India, A Love Story)

4. Talk about my fascination of mermaids!

5. Talk about the awesome thing that happened at my tuition place (Morris Allen)

Ok. so who really believes in mermaids??

I DO I DO!!!

OK, not really... I do realize that mermaids are mythical creatures that are invented to have us fantasized about being one and maybe meet one!

So, basically, I just watched this movie titled Mermaids. It was out in 2003. I watched it a few years back and fell in love with it!

Today, I watched it again and it reminds me of the old movie, The Little Mermaid :)

Ofcourse it has different stories, but it has the same element, MERMAIDS!

I am so intrigued by it and I am enchanted by them (like who would not want to rock some magic powers, have amazing body and beautiful like a mermaid?!)

Yeah, yeah, call me a nerd, but I think mermaids are awesome!!

I think everyone who loves mermaids should definitely watch Mermaids movie! It has simple yet nice story :D

So, second discussion! Amazing lesson today at my tuition centre!!

We discussed about the book 1984 and watched a clip of the movie!

It was absolutely great! The main actor (John Hurt) was the guy who played in Harry Potter as Mr. Olivander, the wand maker. And there was also Richard Burton (famous husband of the famous, late Elizabeth Taylor).

The plot was about propaganda and government. Basically, the whole story was about how the State was in control of the country and it was very contradicting.

Kinda hard to explain but it was very interesting.

Should try to read the book. :)

Anyways, gotta eat dinner now, so bye! :)

JT... :) Prince of Pop :)

2011-08-13T17:55:00.002+08:00

Anybody here doesn't know JT AKA Justin Timberlake?? Cause that will be a crime!

The guy's the prince of pop! (I say prince not king! Cause King will always be MJ :D) and I say pop, not rock n roll cause King of Rock n Roll will always be Elvis Presley...

Anyways, the guy's awesome man!XD

He can sing, dance and act (better than JB AKA Justin Bieber, oh well ok.. he's growing up dude!)

so, here's one.... or maybe two... of my favorite songs of his... It's kinda a few years ago, but still worth listening cause it grooves baby! Here's the link! :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2QdBv7bnXs

and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSVHoHyErBQ&ob=av2e

So, hope anyone who will open my blog will spend time to listen to these songs cause I assure you that will not be able to stop yourself from dancing to these two songs... :))

Btw, Michael Buble also once mentioned one of his fav. songs...

The title is Footloose... From the movie Footloose (obviously).... :D

So, I gave it a try and surprisingly, I love it! :D

here's the link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFWDGTVYqE8&feature=related

So, hope anyone that open my blog will enjoy these songs!! XD

P.S. I am a BIG fan of old songs and songs of this age so..... basically..... I LOVE AND APPRECIATE MUSIC! And yeah, yeah you guys hate Rebecca Black, well gotta admit that she does not sing that well(ok maybe not well at all)... But, oh well, let's give a chance to this girl and see what she will do... Maybe she will sing a song that will be nice to hear????? No one knows, but let's just see eh?? :)

2011-08-11T20:13:00.002+08:00

Today was just normal...

Nothing was too overdone but maybe yeah, I kinda overdid something...

Ok, no worries will never do it again... ;P

Anyways, today was EM test... It was kinda easy... :) Hope I'll do good in it!

So, my bestie seems to be kinda fine... Though there were times when she seemed to be so distant and I felt as if I could not reach her... It's like she was there, but inside she was somewhere else.. :(

I really hope that she'll be fine cause she did not want to talk about it...

I really am trying to cheer her up... Sang that stupid Old McDonald song...Hahahaha

It was kinda funny and fun to be the "crazy, old me". XD

Well, I did everything I could to cheer her up.

Something happened today, Zhi Wei's grandma passed away... It was sad to hear that cause it reminds me of my late grandpa. I could still feel the sadness that caught me in a mess. I messaged him, told him sorry to hear that (is it wrong to say that? O.O), offer my condolences and told him to be strong.

Lastly, I told him to call or SMS me if he needs anything. He just replied 'K la.'

I can tell that he was really upset about it.

I messaged him again after my bestie left. I told him no need to reply and I told him once again to be strong. Told him how today was different just because he was not there with us. Told him (again) to call me if he needs anything.

He didn't reply, understandable though.

I didn't know why I suddenly had the urge to do that, to message him twice... I know that he is still grieving and stuff, but I felt that I had to do it. He is a very nice person and one of my closest friends. He had always been there with Zhi An to make me and Nirusha smiled during our 'emo' times. He is irreplaceable.

I hope that he will be fine and hope he'll be okay... :)

Anyways, got reminded of this song.... It's meaningful to me...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLuP-4ZEhOE

P.S. The first time when I listened to this song, I was around 9 or 10 years old. I cried silently and I would feel the loss that I once felt that time. Until now, this song would always make me feel 'something' that would move me....

it's 11.38 pm... Haven't slept yet...

2011-08-10T23:38:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow's school...

Dread it... Absolutely dread it...

I don't want today to end... It's going to be miserable..

There will be AM test on Friday..

Will be home at around 3 pm...

That is such a misery but I can't avoid it, can I?

Anyways, been quite stress free these few days..

I think these few days been thinking quite clearly since I told her not to talk about that problem anymore.... That woman is indeed trouble maker...

By the way, I really hope that everything will be fine and nothing will go wrong again...

Tried not to be stressed about my future... About the payment for Polytechnic, about the courses... EVERYTHING!

Hope that I won't fall sick since I've been sneezing like hell...

But, reading from Wattpad has made me more cheerful.... :)

I hope that my bestie is going to be fine tomorrow... She's been very gloomy since weeks ago... All because of someone who is very blind and blunt about this...

P.S. Smart does not mean that you have to be good in subjects, it just means that you have to be good in handling situations in your life... That jerk that cheated on you? Forget about it... Not worth it... That person that hurt you? Why bother? Just forget about it.... Sometimes , you just have to say 'what the hell' and go on with it instead of wondering and thinking about it 24/7.... :)

Trying to get my head in the game...

2011-08-10T18:54:00.003+08:00

Ok... So, I just changed my layout..

Don't really know how to put my name and stuff....

So, this is kind of a mess... -.-"

Anyways, I think I am really trying not to worry about my problems and been trying not to get stressed over it...

Hope I'll be fine these few days..

Jar Of Hearts... :)

2011-08-10T00:50:00.002+08:00

Ok...

So, basically been enjoying these two holidays... :D

Been having quite a good time though some of it quite boring, cause I stayed at home during the days and went out during the night... :)

Today, I went to IKEA and Giant with my family. It was fun! Had a chat with someone which made me quite happy along the way... :))

Today was also the National Day!! Saw the fireworks from the TV, it was absolutely spectacular!!! :))

By the way, from the title of my blog, you can definitely know that it's a title of a song... :D

I know that a lot of people had listened to this song a few weeks or maybe months ago, but I just had the ear to listen it today and I kinda like the song.

But, I prefer the cover by Boyce Avenue instead of the original version by Christina Perri... Here's the link to it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTlUu0a9oWc

So, I am quite happy these few days.... :)) Anyways, gonna go off now... Tomorrow's Wednesday, so I gotta finish all my homeworks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, nites and byes ladies and gentlemans...

P.S. I wonder... Does anyone else really read my blog?? Cause it's very quite and empty here.... O.O oh well, forgot to mention...

STILL WAITING FOR THE WELCOMING EMAIL FROM POTTERMORE!!!!!!!!!

2011-08-08T15:18:00.002+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JctA1W_xB3U

How Many Times lyrics

You used to tell me you loved me

You used to show me you cared

I used to be the one that you adored

But lately I don't feel you love me anymore

See I don't understand

What's come over you

And I don't understand why I let you

Treat me so cruel, so tell me

How many times must I break down and cry

I'm confused my understanding

Was true love should never die

How many times

Will you kill me inside

Any kind of fool should see the light

So why can't I

Time after time, I have tried

To give you some space, some time

But no matter what I do, it is never enough

You just refuse to try to do by me right

Though I know I should leave

There's something holding me

I can't seem to find the strength



To set myself free

How many times must I break down and cry

I'm confused my understanding

Was true love should never die

How many times

Will you kill me inside

Any kind of fool should see the light

So why can't I

I gave my heart and soul

I gave my all you know

I I deserve better baby, oh so much better baby

You know it's just not fair

For you to act like you just don't care

For you to act like I've done something wrong

Boy how could you dare

How many times must I break down and cry

I'm confused my understanding

Was true love should never die

How many times

Will you kill me inside

Any kind of fool should see the light

So why can't I

2011-08-08T15:10:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder...

Do you ever listen when I offer you advice?

I told you that it is not worth to be chased for..

But, still you do it..

Sometimes I'm tired of it all..

I'm tired of seeing you get hurt.. You are waiting for something that will never happen and then you fall again.. Then when you told me, I get hurt cause I feel that I could not do anything to stop it... :S

I am your best friend girl... I am here for you, but I cannot do much... There are times when I feel so useless, cause I know there will be times when I would be happy at home, but you are crying somewhere... I can feel it... Deep, deep down...

Tell me... How many times have you slept with a broken heart? Aren't you tired with all these dramas... Cause I do...

Stop chasing something that is not worth chasing gal... :/ I'm begging you...

P.S. You are just a girl.. Who is in love, but love is dangerous... It drives us crazy and to the brink of insanity.... I hope that when you read this, you realize that it is time for you to stop worrying about others and just worry about yourself first... You've been too kind, too nice, and too much hurt...

Must not be stressed!

2011-08-05T19:10:00.002+08:00

Ok... So, what's up people?!

Haha....

Ok, so I decided that I should post some happy thoughts since it's been a few days that I;ve posted a lot of emo things... :))

Anyways, National Day is near!! I know I'm not a citizen here, but it is going to be so exciting and fun! :)

Not to mention that I am feeling OK now... Back to normal again I guess.... :))

I am trying not to overstressed myself by not thinking too much.. Apparently, I am so easy to get stressed -.-" So, I am really trying to calm down and not to think too much...

I just hope that no more problems like this will come up again... Anyway, they're over... So yah... There should not be any other problems... I guess this is for the best.... :)

So, been listening to Barry Manilow a lot... I love old songs! They are more meaningful in their own ways than songs nowadays...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3g7-HQuMDj8

P.S. I know that this song is a bit sad and I'm not suppose to post any emo stuff, but this song is memorable... Reminds me of my past... a lot...

Emo.... *sigh

2011-08-01T22:10:00.002+08:00

I don't know why I'm being emo.....

I feel that everything is a mess.... A super big mess...

I thought he was my friend... You know,the friend that would be honest enough to admit the truth instead of running away and hide from it.....

I know the truth... No need to say much about it..

I don't know why I'm hurting too...

It's like yeah, I called him brother and stuff... But, it was not for fun...

For me, yeah, we are all family and friends, together as one, be as one, stick as one....

But now....

It's like we are all drifting apart... I feel that no one understands my pain... I don't really show it at school... But, when I go home, reality hits me and there I was, looking at the screen, wishing things were all the same....

Yeah, teachers were asking why am I zoning out in class?? I don't know why... I want to escape... Somewhere far... Away from all this pain and constant worrying...

Someday, I'm afraid I might explode from all this problems and all that's left will be nothing but tears and a few scars....

P.S. It was a lie... All of it, you only care about her.... The stupid her that ruined our friendships..... Let me immersed in pain.... So nobody will know... This is what I really feel deep deep inside...

It's 1.25 AM..... Gotta speak up my mind... :P

2011-07-31T01:25:00.002+08:00

OK.. I've been trying not to be emo or sad this whole day..

I think it kinda worked.. Especially after watching that TV episodes.... It kinda made my day.... :)

Anyways, been calling my bestie... She said she is fine.... Glad to know that ... *sigh...

Btw, actually I'm tired now... Not in the mood to update, but I noticed one thing...

I've been scrolling down and reading my old blog posts...

They were funny (in a way) and sad (in a way).... But, most of all, they're full of ME! :)

At least of me that is cheerful, sarcastic and happy..

Yes, there were sad moments, but mostly, I was content and happy :))

Now, I'm mostly emo, stressed and full of worry....

I MISS MY OLD ME!

I MISS BEING THE OLD ME!!!!!!

Yes, I noticed that! O.O

Back to the topic, I miss the old me who is more hardworking and yet, happy and not stressed..

Now, I'm stressed, emoing, zoning out in class and feeling so down...

I think all these problems are wearing me down... It made me lose interest in everything...

I think it is also due to the fact that my bestie is having a problem too... So, it kinda brings me down too..

Things are not as simple as it used to be... :(

Things are messier... More complicated..

All because of that girl.... Haish.... SHE IS ONE HELL OF A TROUBLEMAKER...

Were there any problems before she came? NO

Were there any love hate relationship before she came? NO

Not to add, that person... that betrayer and his lame excuses.....

Anyways, hate them to the core....

P.S. Trust is earned, not given... Same as respect.... Once is forgiven, twice is regret, thrice is no more... In this case, once is regret, twice is enough, thrice.... YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOU BETRAYER!!!!!!!!

betrayal....

2011-07-30T20:21:00.002+08:00

I've faced this problem before... I am familiar with the word... Been there before.... So, you might wondering what am I talking about...

BETRAYAL I've faced this before... But, the problem is I never thought I have to experience the same problem here....

Imagine... Being hurt.... twice by the same person... I am not the one that the person hurt, but he hurt my best friend... That is enough to hurt me.... That is enough to make my blood boils and make me pissed and mad... This time is unforgivable...

Sorry to say but it makes you look STUPID AND DUMB in my eyes... Your reasons are silly and so ridiculous...

All I want to say is you are a complete ASSHOLE in my eyes now......

We all trusted you... You earned trust, not given trust.....

For now, I am waiting for you to face us....

I am pissed, hurt and definitely disappointed.....

I do care... and I feel your pain...

2011-07-28T19:58:00.002+08:00

There are times when I seem to want to forget it all...

I don't want you to get hurt again..

After all, you're my best friend..

I care deeply about you..

When you shed a tear, when you gave me that sad smile, when your face looks gloomy and your heart fell apart.... I felt it too..

I may not be in your situation, I may not understand fully, I may not know it all, but I feel sad too...

I want to erase all that sad memories in your mind and just entertain you all day long, seeing you happy makes me happy too..

But, I really hope that you will not feel that heartbreak anymore...

I don't want you to feel hurt and crushed anymore....

You know, sometimes this song always make me feel sad, but at the end... It's a good song after all... :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ShlE-xobyw&ob=av2e

Shit... Shit... Shit...

2011-06-14T01:49:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry that I never know about how you feel...

There are times that I don't know about how you feel and I don't know what to do...

Now, I know...

I read your blog...

I felt the same thing once.. and maybe still...

But, to be honest, it's not worth it...

That feeling that still lingers, it's just not worth it.

Do you think he cares?! Do you think he's thinking about you as you think about him?? Right now, he's having fun... Probably missing his girlfriend right now.. While you're on your bed, trying so hard not to cry or to think about him....

Just tell me, is it worth it?!

Cause I'm tired of hearing, reading and feeling your pain... I don't want you to suffer over him...

You gotta move on and it is time to move on..

This holiday will be a lesson for you to move on... I hope you will do it.....

Love.... Is it a need or just a want?

2011-05-21T13:29:00.002+08:00

Love...

Does anyone ever wonder what does that even mean?

Do we really want LOVE in this kind of age?

Or are we actually looking for them just because we got influenced by those books, novels, movies, songs, dramas or whatever media that did that to you?

Everybody knows that LOVE in those medias are not real..... The prince charming that calls you to beg for forgiveness after a fight is NOT REAL.

The perfect guy that always buys you everything that you want DOES NOT EXIST.

Or even worst, the Mr. Nice guy that would wait for you even if you end up late from school or work JUST WON'T APPEAR IN REAL LIFE.

I mean, seriously girls... What are we actually looking for in these guys?

Do they even care about us?

Every second that we spent thinking about them.. Is it actually worth it? Are they even doing the same?

Scenario 1.

You're in your bedroom... Writing in your diary.... Why oh why am I still single... Blah blah blah... I like him but he has someone else... Blah Blah Blah.... I wish he notices me at school... Blah Blah Blah.... Hate him.... But I love him.... Blah Blah Blah....

EVER EXPERIENCE THIS LADIES?

Scenario 2.

You're looking at your Facebook/Twitter/whatever acc. that you have.... Then, you posted "I still love him..." "Miss you so much!" "Why don't you return my calls" "Hate you... But, honestly I WANT YOU!"..... Blah Blah Blah...

IS THIS FAMILIAR TO YOU?

So, here's what I've been trying to say...

THEY'RE NOT WORTH IT!!!!!

I mean I'm a girl yes, and I have experienced all these scenarios, but honestly, I just realize that THIS DOES NOT EVEN MATTER!

Being single is indeed painful when you're friends have someone to hug, cry or share laughter with...

But WHO CARES!!??

We still have our friends....

That will always be there!!

So repeat what I say

SO WHAT!!!! :))

What is happening to Mother Earth?

2011-03-15T21:50:00.003+08:00

What is happening to our planet?

What is happening to Mother Earth?

Are we near the end of our lives? Near the end of this world?

No one knows except our Creator...

What is happening right now?

The latest is the tsunami in Japan that caused thousands of people died or went missing.

There is also the radiation leak that caused worry and distressed among us now...

What is wrong with our world now?

Do we even pay attention to it?

Is it a sign from God telling us that we did enough.. We did too much..

Is it our punishment? Probably we'll never know... But, I just hope that this natural disasters will stop and our Earth can be a peaceful place to live once again.....

Me and my emo thoughts....

2010-11-10T00:26:00.002+08:00

I don't know why.. But, about two days ago, I dreamt about you..

I was talking to you over the phone and (impossibly) you sounded surprised and happy as you heard my voice...

Why did I say "impossibly"? Cause I know what you would say in real life!

You would ask me how could I do this? How could I leave you without a note or a goodbye? Don't ask me why, cause to tell you the truth, I just can't.

I miss you... BADLY ....

I want to tell you that I'm fine and I want to hear your voice and ask about everything that's been going on.... But, I guess it would be just another dream that I must bury in the deepest corner of my mind........

I don't get it anymore....

2010-10-08T20:47:00.002+08:00

I don't get it anymore...

Ever since the exam started... I've changed...

Into a more serious person... and when I said change... I changed completely..

I don't know whether it's the fever or exam or other reasons... But, it's just unbearable..

I know that you can feel the "new" me... But, it seems nobody can help me to find my happiness anymore..

It's like my inner child just gone away... Flew away... Carried by the wind with the key to it...

Nobody seems to care...

Yes, I know, they ask "are you ok?", or "did you forget your medicine or something??" .... But, I just don't have the answer... And if I don't have the answer... How could they have it?

I am completely lost.... I wish I can return back time..

And I don't know why.. But, now it's as if everything with you is not the same... I don't know why... It's no one's fault... It's just me... I guess I needed time to find myself again..

Cause when I came here, I did not find myself... You found me.... and that has been the biggest change in my life... It's like the drought that has ended because you came... But, now..

It seems that I've changed... If anyone can help me???

p.s. They said that I am just not me anymore... How about if this is the new me? How about if the new me just can't fit in?? Would you still accept me with open hands?? Or will you leave me in the dark, just like that and pretend that I don't exist....

what is wrong with all these people?~!!

2010-08-02T22:03:00.003+08:00

I can't understand with all these people who love to do violent thing!!

Look at us?! What is the difference in all of us?!

I just saw the news where some group of people in South Jakarta who attacked others, stole things and violently broke into the house. The others did not even know what they did until that group of people barged into their houses and broke their things!!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH OUR WORLD?!

CAN'T WELL ALL JUST LIVE IN PEACE?!

LOOK AT US!! WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE?!! DIFFERENT RACE? SKIN COLOUR? HAIR? EYES' COLOUR?? SO WHAT?!?!! DO THESE THINGS EVEN MATTER ??!! NO RIGHT?! PEOPLE!! REMEMBER WHY DID GOD CREATE ALL OF US?! IT IS TO BE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE NO MATTER WHAT ARE THEIR DIFFERENCES WITH US?! PLEASE STOP FIGHTING AND TAKE A MOMENT TO REALISE THE UNDENIABLE TRUTH!! WE ARE SUPPOSE TO BE ONE!?!!

ARGH....

How many wars does it take for us to remember that fact? How many lives have to die for us to remember?? I just don't understand... Why must we fight when we can end this thing and live in peace. STOP THE BOMBING!! STOP THOSE WARS AND FIGHTS! STOP ALL THE CHAOS AND RIOTS THAT HAPPEN EVERYWHERE!!!!

P.S. Can't we live in peace as sisters and brothers???

SAVE UR BULLSHIT FOR SOMEONE WHO CARES?!!

2010-05-25T22:30:00.002+08:00

You know how much I hate my life?!

Well, this much!!

I just don't understand....!!

What is wrong with you!?

If you really get me or understand me, you would not make me feel like your servant!!!

I HATE YOU!!!

Yes, I do hate you!!!

SO much!!!!

CAN'T U JUST GO AWAY!>

hello....

2010-05-20T23:25:00.002+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sz5vNVuUpfQ

Currently, In love with this song Hello by the Glee cast... :)

Well,this song really describes my feelings well... ;)

Btw, do you ever believe in things that will never happen or maybe possible but for you it's impossible to happen? I never did... Until now! Well, at least only a few people know why.. ;)

Btw, just got back from cheerleading practice at 9.45!! So TIRED! And my feet have blisters!!! ARGH!! So dang tiring... :(

Hope it'll be worth it for tomorrow... ;D

Now, gonna go to bed.... Bye....

long time...

2010-05-19T23:16:00.000+08:00

WOW... Been a long time since the last time I blogged... :P

Well, the exams' marks have been out... Not so good though I passed all... It was not as high as I wanted it to be.. :(

But, still have another terms to make it right! SO, will not give up! :D

recuperating...

2010-04-14T20:41:00.002+08:00

Ok... Been sick for two days..

But, I'll be coming back to school tomorrow... :)

Hope I'll be fine for tomorrow...

ARGH!! I MISS MY FRIENDS!

DAMN TIRING!! LYK HELL MAN!!!

2010-04-12T20:47:00.001+08:00

ARGH!!!

Today was like damn tiring!!!

Ok, woke up feeling like Dolly Parton XD.... at 6.00 am!!

Then brought so many books for so many lessons.... -.-"

Then after that, had to be MC for the Inter. Friendship Day...

Then after that, had E MATHS until 3... Then walked to Esso to buy food, reached sch at 3.30 pm

Then, getting ready for choir until 4.00 pm, then went to BTSS....

Then practiced there until at ard 7.10 pm.

Went home at 8.30 pm

The worst part is my throat aches because of too much singing.

My feet has blisters because of the choir shoes...

Then, I STILL HAVE THE STUFFS THAT R CALLED HW!!

Then, I have a runny nose because of my allergic to dust and changing temp!!

Dang u GREG!!!!!

ARGH!

Now, so sleepy... ZZZzzzZZZzzzzZZZ

Currently, doing Malay hw.... ;)

confused...

2010-04-11T16:44:00.002+08:00

Things have been quite confusing and interesting....

It's hard to trust someone.... You may have a lot of friends... But, you can only trust a few of them... Sometimes only one..

Well, my bestie, if you read this, thx for everything.... I really can't describe how much you have done for me in my life.. When I cried, you're there. When I laughed, you're also there (duh XD), and when I am alone, you are there with me to share my suffer (O.O)...

You are understanding and even I don't have that much patient and understanding... Words can't describe you cause if I lose a friend like you, I know for sure that I'll die....

You are like a sister to me... Older sister that I never had.... or maybe sister with the same age?!

haha

Well, thx for everything...

Thx Nirusha.... :)

Emoing... again...

2010-04-06T23:09:00.002+08:00

I don't know why... But, well I really wish you did not sms me that text message cause now it brings back that bad memories... and that emo feelings again..

I know that my posts are like emo and all that... But, well I guess I'm not that strong...

I don't know what to do...

Things just went quite bad and we all screwed up... :(

We both gave up and since then, things have been awkward and abnormal...

Sometimes I wonder, where I've been... Who I am.. Do I fit in? I may not win but I can't be thrown.. Out here on my own...................

I know I have to survive but being a survival means alone... It always means that... :(

I am trying to hold on. But somehow, I always fall again...

I just don't get it...

Maybe I should talk to someone better... Someone that is not on anyone's side.... Yes, I know the right person.... And I think this time is the best...

I need to talk to someone that is in the middle and can balance themselves...

God, I really am tired of this drama.... I wonder how long must I suffer??

P.S. I can't run nor hide....

hurt hurt hurt

2010-03-24T21:37:00.002+08:00

I am sorry... But, I just can't solve this problem... I know that maybe I left you wondering why... But, you also did not approach me... Or try....

I know that I never explained cause I think it's useless.. Sorry... For a hundred times...

Everything is too late... and It's not my fault,,, You're the betrayer... and maybe you think it's me but it's not... It's you all along... Your betrayal from the start has hurt me... and that caused me to be upset and depressed like hell.. :(

I can pretend like the others... But, I'd rather not... I prefer not to hide it and just show what I feel... Even if it hurts you, well you hurt me first rite? You just don't know that I know.. :(

It hurts me and maybe you too... But, well where's the justice of this world? None right?.... So, I gotta break free from you...

I lost my trust and maybe you don't realize it, but so others....

How could you?! I still wonder why... But, ever since you said hi to me, it was never meant to be. Maybe they can't see it, but whatever. At least I can, and at least I know the truth. There was never sincerity in you. You are just a liar and that's it. Things are falling apart and tangled. I hope that I can fix it and get up. Though, it's hard. I just hope that everything will be just ok and fine. It's been pretty messy and quite confusing. But, in the end I'm sure you'll get it......

Betrayer.. yeah that's you... :(((

Tired... :(

2010-03-12T18:16:00.002+08:00

Dang!! So tired these few days~!! :(

It seems to be too tiring and complicated for me!!

Storytelling, public speaking, tuition, and the damn camp!!

I AM TIRED!! CAN'T ANYBODY GET THAT?!

My parents!! Argh!! They seem to be very confused by the concept of TIRED!!!!

Weak but not that weak....

2010-02-28T13:29:00.002+08:00

Yes, I am now strong.

Don't worry, I am not that weak.. :)

Now, I am just gonna face the truth with my head held up high... :)

Don't worry, I can face the truth just fine.

As long as I have my real friends, that will be just fine.

foolish me... :( and you're also a betrayer....

2010-02-27T21:29:00.001+08:00

How could you?!

I want to shout at you!! To hurt you!!! All those wonderful times were nuthin but a cover up of your hatred at me!!!

If you really hate me then why did u even bother to be friends with me?! All those precious times!! When you cried, I was there. When you laughed with joy, I was there. When you needed me to hug you, I was there. But now... Where are you??

You backstabber~!!! I should have known when my dad warned me!! But, oh no!! I ignored my own instinct... I tried so damn hard, though I know that everytime I was with you, I've never really been myself. How could you??!!!

I hate you... Really hate you... Those sweet smile was just a cover up....

When I thought this is it... I was wrong... Yeah, I was damn wrong!!!!!!!!

NOW MY HEART ACHES...

Thanks for nothin....

You know what... From now on.... NEVER EVER talk to me or even try to contact me.... I hate you and that's all I know.....

bitch..... dang that person...

2010-02-23T20:05:00.002+08:00

Being a teenager + a human being is really tough.

You can make the wrong decisions and in the end you'll regret it.

That is what I learnt from life.

Yes, I do feel stupid cause despite my dad's advice, I still went for it. And the stupidest part is that in the end I got hurt...

It still hurts... The wound is not stitched...

Everyone says that people makes mistakes... But, why must I make this mistake??!

Thrice!!!!!!!!! And that person does not even care or know but don't care or does not give a damn!!!!

Now, I will make sure that everyone who tries to get to my heart, will certainly be cut if they are not compatible and not good........

I will make sure that the bitch will get it...

One day.. and I know one day... She'll get it... But, for now... I am not sure that she will change for the better.... :(

My heart aches... But, now.... Never mind... I WILL STAND TALL.....

I'll give you that bitch!!! YOU MESS WITH THE WRONG PERSON!!!

ever get that feeling that a certain person is changing?

2010-02-10T19:33:00.002+08:00

Ever get the feeling that one of your closest friend is changing???

I do... and sadly... it is not the person that I expect will change......

It is my other closest friend... and yes it is a gal...

I just feel that she's changing... a lot.... I think I know why... But, I can't say why... Cause if I say it, she won't be happy to hear it and it'll sound so selfish of me...

I really hope that I can bear it... I hate it when someone so good turn into someone.... so "different".

Btw, today's quite ok... no choir.. that means go home earlier! ;)

Get well soon our dear conductor!

I just feel as if... I am inside this plastic bubble... So useless... cause no matter what I do, it won't make any difference... O man.... I think if this continues... Imma go away... far far away.... and no one else will try to chase me or stop me cause I AM FREE....well at least free in IMAGINATION... :(

Shesshh... I just hate it!!! I CAN'T SAY A WORD... Cause if it makes her happy... well then go ahead... I won't stop her from being happy... It's not that she's bad... It's just she's so ......... distant..........

P.S. Imma barf now......

Funny thing happened today... LOLzzz

2010-02-09T19:53:00.004+08:00

Yo!!

Wazzup ppl?!

Today was Ok... Jessica's not in... Hmm.. don't know why... I'll try to message her...:P

Btw, you know a funny thing happened today! I went home from school with my parents. Then, my parents were cooking Indomie aka fried noodle for my dad's friends! And mind you, THIS IS RARELY HAPPENS AS HE IS ALMOST NEVER MADE A NOODLE... and then after we boiled the noodle, you know what my dad did?? He thought he would cool it down a bit by putting it inside the fridge... LITERALLY INSIDE THE FRIDGE... Not that he's dumb... But, he's just trying to help us. When my mom saw it, she was like "Are you insane?!! What are you doing with that noodle?!" He was putting the noodle inside for a few seconds... then when my mom said that he took it out and said "I know what I'm doing... I'm just trying to cool it down... hahaha" in a joking manner... -.-"

Yeah, I did laugh A BIT and I gave him the "are you kidding me?" expression. So, yah in the end, my grandma took care of it.. XD

My parents are indeed insane... in a fun and good way! :D

Luv them!!! ;)

Hmm... Gotta go do my EL speech.. Hope I can perfect it! :D

P.S. Actually, my dad's idea is not that bad.... XD hahahaha

Ever wonder why our life is so not a fairytale?

2010-02-06T17:09:00.002+08:00

Ever wonder why your life is so not damn perfect?
Well, I guess all of us did that be4...

Hmm... These few days, I was so into romance books... including the Last Lecture k?! Haha, surprise surprise! It was more about how to life your life, but there was this romantic stories bout how he met his wife and all that. SO it COUNTS!

Btw, all these books always or mostly started from that main character's point of view. First that main character has a wrecked life and maybe has a best friend that has damn perfect life to him/her. But, in the end that character always get what he/she wants!!

Isn't this just the same?! It is indeed happy ending.. But, in real life IT IS NOT LIKE THAT?! well, 50% of it is not like that!!!

This is what I'm angry bout! WHY?! WHY and WHY?!

If we can have that perfect life, we would not have to think bout not having boyfriends, or maybe not having a perfect body, or all those girl problems!

We won't have to worry bout mascara, lipsticks, and powder! Somehow, we still have to worry bout that! ARGH!! WHY!

Ok, but after quite sometime... I do realise that ofcourse everyone has problems... It just depends on how you deal with it! Some may just don't care but some maybe cares way too much that they just don't have the time to have fun!

Well, that's why I think they invent books... Storybooks, novels are all the source of our entertainment. They are the source of our imagination and they are like our perfect stories... We can be whoever we want to be... We can be the stunning Juliet or the smart Hermione Granger, or the innocent yet not so innocent Bella Swan (though I prefer to be Alice Cullen XD).

Books are indeed wonderful though they can be poisonous if we don't treat the knowledge rightly. :)

So, let us all read silently and peacefully...... SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

P.S. The worth of a book is to be measured by what you can carry away from it. ~James Bryce

Fun time!

2010-02-05T22:05:00.002+08:00

Hmm..

Today's fun!!

Nirusha, Nizam, Rayz and I went to KFC! :D

Hilarious~!~! Greg u should have been there !!!!! :)

Totally fun and now we do have an entertainment called "The Spit Girl"hahaha....

And that's nt me.. :P guess.. haha

Hmm..

So... Afiq said that I am so moody these few days..

Yep, we all know why... :(

I keep on thinking bout it... It gives quite an impact on me without me realising it...

Shesshh... Hope it won't effect my thinking.. hahaha

P.S. Is it wrong to find another options??

it's sad when someone had to leave you standing and wondering why....

2010-01-31T16:30:00.002+08:00

Have u ever felt sad bcoz of someone who left you??

Yup, I have felt that... And let me tell you... That feeling is not good at all...

It's like you're trying to lose that feeling but then it won't go away...

Well, anyway... I'm not in an emo mood... It's just that I remember how it feels like to lose the one you love so dearly... It's like you wanna give up yourself just to save that person but in the end you know that you can't... In the end, you'll blame yourself for losing that person again :(

Btw, tomorrow's school... Gotta face the teachers and the person that you really dislike... Somehow, that person is always close to you... And you know that it's no use to tell you that person how you felt bcoz in the end you'll lose and she'll win the game again...

Hmm... Just had a chit chat with one of my close friends... :D (you know who you are)

Yeah... she told me that she has a whole lot of problems... and I said me too... well as I said, life is full of unending problems... When you solved something out, there is always another one waiting and lurking in the dark.. Itching to get out and drives you mad...

Well, I just hope that tomorrow will be better.... Shesshh.... I hate this....

P.S. When I said I hate you that means I luv you, when I said I don't need you that means I need you badly, but when I said we're over, that means we're over.......................

addicted... to Glee!

2010-01-29T23:55:00.003+08:00

Hmm... Tired.. But, I want to update... so OK... haha

U guys know a new TV series called Glee??

Kind of funny and cool... LIKE IT! Genre : Musical

So, yah... I lyk everything bout music...

Btw, just got a new quote... by ME!

SOME GUYS ARE MEANT TO BE JERKS IN YOUR LIFE!

That's 100% true!

Been there done that!

Sometimes, I always wonder, we always hate jerks right? But, in the end we end up with them?! WEIRD HUH??

I am not saying that boyfriends are jerks... I'm just saying SOME OF THEM are jerks.

Somehow, jerks can open up our eyes. You know that when a guy smiled at you, then he came towards you, chit-chat with you then in a few weeks... TADA! He became ur bf(by bf I don't mean best friend)and then after another few weeks, you gonna came up crying at your best friend telling that jerk of yours hurt you and made a wound at your heart. It's always like a cycle... haha

It happens in books.... and real life...

Sadly, some jerks are too charming.. But, if we know how to stay away from them... I guess we'll be fine! :D

So yah... haha actually just wanna talk bout that.... It kinda opened up my mind... :P

When you said forever, you meant a few months. When I said forever, I meant every day until I died. When you said always, you meant until you couldn't handle it anymore. When I said always, I meant until time ended. When you said you loved me, you meant I was no different from any other girl. When I said I loved you, I meant I had never felt what I felt for you.

Miss them so damn much

2010-01-27T23:25:00.002+08:00

I miss them so much...

They went back home this afternoon... I feel so sad man..

The house that was crowded is now empty... and too peaceful...

I really hope they'll come soon.... I really miss them...

I really hope that I can visit them too.... I almost cried at school when I called them to say bye... I really regret it!! If I do not have choir maybe I can say gdbye face to face at the airport... and I just said gdbye through phone... :( God, please give me strength... To face this big, bad world....

Btw, tomorrow's Physics and AM tests... Hope I can do it!!! :D

Jiayou!

2010-01-25T18:52:00.002+08:00

Oww.. hmm blog back to normal!!! :D hehehe i'm soo outdated... for now

Btw, today was just ok... Something happened but I don't know what... yet...

I just hope she'll be fine... :(

Hmm.. Tomorrow's Chem test... :D

Hope it'll be easy peasy!! I feel like I'm trapped in a box... Just can't move... And my aunt is going home on Wed... :(( PLEASE DON'T GO AUNTY! and also COUSIN!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FREAKING NO!!!!!!!!!

fine... trying to chill... A bit sleepy.. Hope can study... Dad's at the table tennis championship... Hope that ol buddy wins.. hahaha

Yesterday went to Sentosa and had a lot of FUN!

We went to ride the Segway Fun Ride, watched Cineblast which my aunt thought was scary but my sis and I were laughin all the way!!! HUAHAHA

then went to watch Songs Of The Sea... COOL!!

Just really hope that tomorrow will be a better day to start... :)

SAVE THE DOLPHINS...SAVE THE WHALE! :p

SORRY I'M JUST TOO RANDOM TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED...

Woa! two tests!

2010-01-21T21:26:00.002+08:00

O man... I don't know what's wrong with the blog... but for certain I can't choose the colour and font! -.-"
Btw, tomorrow have two tests! EL and Geo! Wish me luck!! And today got two surprise tests for EM and AM! Can't do the EM one... NO!!!!!!
Well, at least I'm enjoying my aunt and cousin's company. They're very nice and made me crack!! :D
OK, then bb and write next time...

OK... Not so Ok,,,

2010-01-18T18:22:00.002+08:00

Just as I expected.... They did not talk at all!!

Can't believe it's happening>.<>

It feels weird especially when you know that both of them are your best friends... It's like you're in the middle... -.-"

Now, gotta think how to do the Microsoft Power Point cause don't have one??!!! HELP major HELP!

Another tuition... *sigh... hehe at least got a tutor... One of my friend told me that... ;)

I just hope tomorrow will be a good day as they're coming home!! My cousin heart you!! and also my aunt... hahaha :D

Well, write later! :)

:(( feel like shit...

2010-01-11T15:46:00.002+08:00
Today I feel so sad...
I feel like shit man.... :(
Today is one of the worst day in my school life.....
I feel like home is my only sanctuary...
Laughing with friends... Feel so.... numb... I feel so damn numb... :(
I know that sometimes there are no things such as second chance... But, I really need it for this one!!
I know that somehow I can make it.... Somehow.. This is the best for me....
Thank you mum and dad for always believing in me... But somehow, it's not enough .... :((
It's not enough reasons for the school to believe in me... :(
Well, I will never give up....!!
I am STUBBORN and for this once I am REALLY STUBBORN... and I DON'T CARE!!!

I WILL FIGHT FOR THIS ONE WITH ALL OF MY POWER.....
PURE SCIENCE U BETTER PREPARE FOR ME....

Ok... Packing to move... Tiring!!

2009-12-27T15:18:00.002+08:00
I really don't know what to say...
TIRED!!!
Packing is really one of the thing I hate!! Especially it's packing to move to a new unit! Dang it...!
Haha,,, But, the good news is I got my own room!! Phew... Everything I've been dreaming of.. :)
But, seriously my arm ached when I woke up today.. Cause yesterday I lift up all the heavy boxes... While my sis did.... nothing... -.-"
Well, she only lift up a few light things while I lift up the heavy things and packed up her stuffs too!!!
So, ok... I got to go back to pack again...
Ow, btw I have one good news!! I got True Blood book!!
I got the first one Dead Until Dark :)
Well, after packing I'll go back to reading Sookie and Bill again...!!! :)
Ok bb...

Playing with a 9 year old?? Not a bad idea... :)

2009-12-24T17:01:00.002+08:00
Hmm... Let me describe my day today... :)
Fun! Fun! Fun! Let my tell you why...
Cause I played with two nine year old kids! Well, that's my sis and her friend... :)
And we did not play some kind of childish games.. We actually just chit chat and then rode on her scooter.. hahaha xD
It's surprisingly fun!! :D
Btw, my mom are planning to go to the church tdy.. We have a mass at 11.30 pm!! Christmas carol... Caroling.. hahaha
Yeah.. So I guess we'll celebrate Christmas at the church... :P
My typical mom.. sheshh..

P.S. I guess caroling is not such a bad idea... ;)

New favorite web!! :)

2009-12-23T14:26:00.002+08:00
Hey hey!! :)
Wats up with everybody?? Enjoying ur holiday???
Cause I do!!
Though yes I am busy packing cause I'm moving to a new unit.... But, it was quite fun... haha
Can't wait to see my room (again) xD...
Btw, got a new fav. website to look for gossips..
Else than E!Online.. Also got www.perezhilton.com !!
I kinda like the web cause well despite his sometimes "over-criticism" to others, he's fast in searching the news... Updated all the way! :D
It's dang fast man and that's why I like it...
Hmm... Btw, I am quite lazy to chat... not in the mood.... Don't know why.. (sorry Nisha and Nizam.. I'm just not in the mood to chat!! Hehehe well u both can still chat with each other.. Getting all lovey dovey.. hahaha)
Well, then c u all next year... ! :)
Wish u all a great Christmas!!

XOXO sesilia soh :)

P.S. Chocolate can make you really hyper!!! Just a warning.. That's all.. hahaha

Is it wrong to dream for something... impossible??

2009-12-21T17:20:00.002+08:00
I ask myself this question.....
Is it wrong to dream for something that is quite impossible???
Maybe my dad will say no... But, for me maybe it's yes...
I know that dream is kind of hard to acknowledge by others cause that dream is quite impossible to happen!!
Well, we'll just see where this life is going to take me... :)
Hmm... btw now I'm waiting for my tutor to come.
I feel as if I'm in a plastic bubble.. Just can't escape and being prisoned there...
Shesshhh....
Ok. not in the mood to blog so bb...

P.S. Brittany Murphy died yesterday... It's so sad.. and she's just 32 years old.. Such a waste... We can still use her talent in Hollywood!!Damn.. Well R.I.P Brittany Murphy... :(

Lost...

2009-12-18T00:42:00.003+08:00
-Lost-
Michael Buble

I can't believe it's over
I watched the whole thing fall
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall
If I'd only knew
The days were slipping past
That the good things never last
That you were crying

Summer turned to winter
And the snow it turned to rain
And the rain turned into tears upon your face
I hardly recognized the girl you are today
And god I hope it's not too late
It's not too late
'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your worlds crashing down
And you can't bear the thought
I said, babe, you're not lost

Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Things have seem to changed
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away

'Cause you are not alone
And I am there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When the worlds crashing down
And you can not bear the cross
I said, baby, you're not lost
I said, baby, you're not lost
I said, baby, you're not lost
I said, baby, you're not lost

This is exactly what I feel now... I feel lost..
I don't know why my heart hurt so much... It's like when I think of you and then I heard this song... I feel empty as if someone just punched a hole in my chest... The air all blows in and then I can't feel anymore cause my heart just fall apart...
The thing that made me hurt so much is I don't know how you feel..
Do you miss me?
Do you even think about me?
We're far apart... We're 2424 miles apart... :(
When we were together.. I felt happy and yes now I miss you..
I know that when we were toddlers, we hated each other.. Maybe even loathed each other's existence... haha
But then as we grew up... We like to play together.. Hang around your house and my house.. Good times never been forgotten by me.. I always remember it.. I remember the day you made me cried... Twice and yes it hurt me real bad... But then we reconciled.. and became friends again :)
Now, you're there and I'm here... When will we meet again? Only time could tell...
I miss you... I miss you... I miss you...
I really hope I can see you again...
See you again my dear comrade....

2009-12-15T18:01:00.003+08:00
Hmmm...
Relationship is complicated.... Almost for everyone...
Somehow, people who keep on changing their minds are insecure...
Yes, I know that sometimes I keep on changing my mind... But, at least not in relationship!
It's like if you're in a relationship with someone.. You can't keep on changing your mind constantly!
We girls are not toys! We can feel and we know how it is to be hurt! Relationship is not easy! You can't say I love you today and the next day you'll say something different like I hate you or I want to break up with you!!!
That's not love and that shows that you're not mature...
If you're mature and you understand love, you won't rush it! Somehow, love takes time... It's not like in fairytales where a prince married a girl just because they danced for one night and her dancing shoe fell off.. Then the prince married that girl cause her foot fit that shoe!
Somehow and sadly, it's not like that...
That's why having a relationship at our age (teens) is not promising. There will be lots of heartbroken and confusion! Maybe, it is smooth at the first time. But, on the way you'll see that the cracks will slip through and in the end you'll regret saying yes on the first time.......
That's what I see right now...
That's what happen right now...
So, well for me relationship for now is not possible. For me, maybe not now but later in the future I know that I'll get my own prince, my heart's duet... :)

2009-12-14T00:48:00.002+08:00
YAY~~~
Happy all the way!! I finally found my heart's duet!! :D
Which is John Travolta's Grease movie!!
I found Grease and Grease 2 DVD at Gramophone at Cathay!! :D
Finally, after a long wait... A dream came true! Lolzz... It feels so good to have both DVDs....
My dad also bought Andrea Bocelli's Christmas DVD! I heart him... and also David Foster... They both did a duet again... haha
He also bought Il Divo album and Olivia...
She's a new rising star and she's a Singaporean! Her voice is like Norah Jones but higher and so relaxing....
Ow... and also feel kind of remorse cause I can't come to the class party on Monday which is tomorrow.... Hix hix hix
I really have something important to do on Monday so yah... I hope all the 2EAs have fun there !!! XD
O gotta go now.... BB and gud nite!
Grease Grease 2
g

2009-12-09T12:28:00.001+08:00
YAY~~~ Gregory's back from the cruise!!! :D
hahaha.. it's nt boring anymore.. lolzz XXD
Ok, bb want to eat now...lol

2009-12-07T17:41:00.002+08:00
Hey wats up?! to everyone... hahaha
btw, Nisha just created a blog.. or technically it's her dear hahaha... who created the blog! :P
here's the link : http://nisha-anewstartinlife.blogspot.com/
Check it out!!
btw, today was quite fun... Went to Popeyes, Century Square cause cikgu wanted to treat us.. hehe delicious !! :)
I don't know... It's just i don't feel like myself today... Maybe cause i miss someone....
Hmm... I really don't know what's into me... Seriously... I can literally kill myself cause I know I'm not suppose to feel this way... Sheeshh really... when holiday.. anythin can happen... well, like Nisha and her "dear" hahaha...

o man... i could hit my head on the wall!!! I really need to stop thinking bout him!!!
O man... is it that hard?! He's far away... and it's like 100% he won't like me... o man.. I'm in trouble.... DUH..... XXXXXPPPPP
God, what's into me?!!!!
I need to forget bout him... Really need to forget bout him... O man -.-" shesshhh....
It's like I'm close but I'm so far from him.... :(
sigh.......

2009-11-23T22:02:00.002+08:00
I feel so empty... so numb.. Don't know why... Btw, I have seen my results... Glad with it! Made it to pure science.... hahahaha
But, still.. Maybe cause I'm tired today... haha
Bored and tired...
Bb...

2009-11-22T01:14:00.002+08:00
".......waiting for you is like waiting for the rain to come in drought times... useless and disappointing... "

That's exactly how I feel right now... I realize that I can never have you as you're just a friend to me... and I'm a friend to you...
Who am I kidding with? Huh... I guess that bond will never change.. How foolish of me to think or expect more than that....
Yeah, they say a bond can change as this world revolves around us... But, I guess that one will never change.. As it still the same to me....
Oh yeah, i did not forget the fact that we're apart... Even when we're together I know that you only use me as ur "diary" or listener...
You always came with your motorcycle of yours in front of my house. Talking bout that girlfriend of yours, well all I could do was be the good listener and a good friend of yours. It hurts me cause u do not feel the same bout me and that girlfriend of yours is insane and not a good gal AT ALL...
well, that's all in the past. Shall I erase this memory?? Don't know... We'll see... Maybe in time I can forget bout it.. Maybe not... Who knows??

bored... too damn boring...

2009-11-17T16:26:00.002+08:00
Hmm....
OK... I feel bored already... Want to sleep, but scared that I prob. won't be able to sleep at night if I sleep now...
Hmm...
So, prob. will chat with Nisha again.. Nizam is now going to his friend's house so he can't be ol there... He's busy...
Hmmm...
Miss my home country... Wish I can go back there and meet my cute cousin... He is so chubby and smart... Hmm... What can I say...Some things can not be fulfilled... ;P
Hmm...
My sis is sleeping.. That gal.. She is damn tired from playing the scooter... Weird... Yah, she's in love with her red scooter now...
Hmm....
O, wait! Nizam's back.. So that means the three of us can do conference chat...
hahaha
ahh... But still bored...
Wonder if Nisha got blog.. Maybe that gal has one... Gotta ask her...
hmm...
This life is so damn weird... Very weird...
Well, write later...
BB

My mistakes... and theirs too... :S

2009-11-16T20:40:00.003+08:00
Hmmm...
When you look back to the past... Sometimes you realize the mistakes that you made and so others...
You realize the mistakes were not fully yours.Sometimes, it's not you.. It's just them, who think that what's wrong is right...

I realize that in times, we can all grow up. It occured to me that I do grow up.
I realize that in primary school, I was childish and partly it was my fault. Though not all, but partly it was mine to blame.

Friendship was hard back then, they say that make new friends are easy... For me, it wasn't. Back then, friendship was a funny thing like a toy that could be played around. I thought it was going to be smooth and easy. We could find a best friend in just a few days and even sometimes minutes! It was weird, there are times when we have to write our best friends names, and there were a whole lot of them. From A-Z, sometimes ones can even write "the whole entire class" as best friends... Weird right? They think that they can find best friends in just a few days just because they help you in your Math Homework or Science homework, or maybe they help you to cheat in your exam or Maths test!

To find a best friend, it takes time or years... You can not just say "Hey, he's my best friend!" or "She's the best friend that I ever had" just because that person help you in your assignment. Best friend takes more than that. It will happen all in the right time... To find the right best friend, you must look into your heart. Only time can tell, as having best friend means also having to sacrifice.. And they say to find a best friend, you must have a fight first because that fight can make your bond stronger or weaken the bond between you and that "best friend" of yours...
For me, it became stronger.. I don't know yours...
Maybe yes maybe no... lolzz... :p

P.S. Maybe now, I do find my best friend.. She's a gal... And I think she maybe the best friend that I've been searching for... Who knows??

2009-11-08T00:48:00.002+08:00

-I don't believe you- by Pink

I don’t mind it
I don’t mind at all
It’s like you’re the swing set
And I’m the kid that falls
It’s like the way we fight
The times I’ve cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passion’s there
So it’s got to be right
Right?

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart
No I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all

I don’t mind it
I still don’t mind at all
It’s like one of those bad dreams
When you can’t wake up
It’s like you’ve given up
You’ve had enough
But I want more
No I won't stop
Because I just know
You’ll come around
Right?

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart
No I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all

Just don’t stand there and watch me fall
Because I, because I still don’t mind at all

It’s like the way we fight
The times I’ve cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passions there
So it’s got to be right,
Right?

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart
No I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all

I don’t believe you

Blog: This is how I feel today... I feel like nobody understands... How did a person judge a person without knowing them first??
I guess they are jerks... :(
I am unhappy.... That's how I feel today... I just don't understand how can a person did that??? I hate those kind of person... They are called JERKS....
I really hate them... :(
I feel kinda gloomy.... I feel out of hope... :(

:((

2009-10-29T22:02:00.002+08:00
I feel very upset...
I really don't know what's wrong with you...
You won't tell me...
I guess that makes me upset...
I don't know whether you just pretend to be happy so that I won't ask you "Are you okay?" AGAIN...
I don't know whether you're still mad at me or what... But, I really don't know what to do...
I surprised you to cheer you up... But, I guess that did not work... I am just trying to be your friend.. I tried to forget yesterday... But, I guess the present still haunts me...
I am sorry and I already said that to you... But, I guess sorry is not enough isn't it..??
I know that I can't be a perfect friend for you, but please I'm desperately trying to help you...
Now, you won't call..
I guess I am guilty....
:((
SORRY
SORRY
SORRY

2009-10-25T22:35:00.002+08:00
Sooo.... today was fun!
Went out to the church and then ate chicken rice at a hawker place!
Then, dad brought us to the ice cream shop which was absolutely delicious! :)
go OREOS!! :D
Hmmm... excited 4 tom! Hope tomorrow will be a better day though there's PE enrichment like bowling and archery... Excited 4 archery!
Is it going to be hard?? Hope NOT!
:)
hehehe...
K... c ya!

2009-10-23T22:51:00.003+08:00
Do you ever feel like you want to break things and shout at a person?
I DO...
This is exactly what I feel now... Can't believe that there's a person so annoying like that.. :{
Btw, today I already thanked everybody... Nisha said that I'm damn weird today...
Haha I guess I was acting weird.. But, who cares? It's never too late to say thanks! :D
hmmm... Today I did the paper cut animation thingy.... It was so much fun! Loving it! :)
Sooo... Took a lot of pics! Feel free to log in to facebook and check them out! :D
OK... gd nite! BB

2009-10-22T23:02:00.002+08:00
hmmmm...
Today was quite boring... The trip was not that great, it was kinda boring....
Well, hope tomorrow is not going to be that boring...
Btw, today took quite a lot of pics from the heritage... haha We r such photo addicts!!! LOL
hmmm.... I could actually die of boredom.. hahaha
Today tuition was easy.. The math is not hard... Heard of that theory be4... haha
Well, I wonder what's up with him>? He seems sad,,, What happen yah???
>.>
Ok, I guess that's 4 tdy...Nothin interesting well... I guess God is fair... :) +

Miss you.. Yet I hate you...

2009-10-14T21:26:00.003+08:00
Miss you.... Yet I hate you...
That's what I feel now... I really miss that one person that used to fill my days... But, now I also hate that person now.... That person had always been there for me... There were times when we fought over some sill stuffs that sometimes caused by me,, LOLzz
I wonder what is that person thinkin rite now...??
Is that person thinking bout me? Or probably that person's lover... haha??
Well, one thing for sure, our history was like the song "7 Things I hate about you" by Miley Cyrus...
Cause we had a lot of ups and downs... Not to mention, sometimes I was pissed cause of that person's attitude... Hmm... the over confidence attitude or i-know-more-than-you-do attitude or i'm-always-right attitude... hahaha
How come that I always stuck with this person??
I knew that person since primary... That's why we had a long history... But, when I left, I don't have a chance to say a "proper goodbye" or you can say a "normal goodbye" hahahaha... Well, everything has its own risk... Sometimes, u gotta risk love... Just like in the movie.. hahaha
Well, God give me one more chance to see him again... I am begging you,... +

2009-10-08T23:11:00.002+08:00
now I understand...
I understand how it feels like to have friends that will always be there for you no matter what.... :)
Today, I learnt something important:
1) Life without friends suck :(
2) I DO have best friends... :)) And I believe that we'll stick with each other till the end!!
3) Riding a bicycle is hard!! Well, not that hard... just a little bit hard... :P

Btw, now I think I can say that today is quite memorable... Probably, I'll never forget about this! This experience is once in a lifetime,.. Like wiseman said do what you got to do!
Hahahahaha

So... Nighty nite
Have a good nite sleep
Don't let nightmares frightened you!XD

P.S. Miss u Edward Moss!! Come back soon !! C u in Changi again!! :))

do u know that I still miss u??

2009-09-05T13:58:00.002+08:00
After everything that we've been through....
Do u know that I still miss u???
I know that it happened for like a few years ago...
But, I do still miss u.... No matter what, I still has this weird feeling 4 you...

Prob. now u already forget abt me... prob. u think that I hate you or don't care bout u... But, ur wrong... I am here... waiting to c u again...
Hope u do still remember me...

I wish I can tell u this now... But, I am not with u... Ur far away.. Not here with me... So, it'll be no use if I tell u this now...
Sorry, but it's hard 4 me 2 get rid of this feeling....

:() I don't know whether to laugh... or cry...
I don't know whether to live or die...
And it cuts like a knife...
- from "She's Out Of My Life" song by Michael Jackson....

I miss them soooo badly.... :(

2009-09-03T22:31:00.002+08:00
Woa!! My blog is so deserted.... :P
lolzzzz.... I am sooo lazy to update tdy... hahaha
But then I really need to update tis blog... -_-

I really miss them soo badly!!
I know that I should have done sumthin in my last days... But, instead I acted as if there was nothin.. as if everything was ok... Now I realize that I was wrong...
That I was suppose to do sumthin... just anythin... to make them realize that no matter what, they still are the most wonderful thing tat ever happened to me!!
I was stupid... idiotic... and well, dumb....

Well, I won't repeat that mistake.... ever again! I promise myself that...

Hhmmmm... God, just help me get through this chaotic life ......

today is OK!!!

2009-08-13T21:56:00.004+08:00
Today was great!! No bad day at all!!!
Ms. Wang 4 the
second time there's no BOY!!!!
hahahaha
btw, today was oral exam!!
It was ok.. Hope I passed!! and thx Jeremy if ur reading this!!
U really calmed me down be4 the exam!!
He made me laugh the entire time be4 the oral exam... Zhi Wei 2 thx!!
I heart u all!
hope tomorrow will be a better day
And wish me luck 4 the common test next week!!!

2009-08-02T22:54:00.002+08:00
I am in a bad mood... Hope nobody is going to release my wrath on Monday! I am so in a bad mood... I am pissed... I know why... But I won't tell you why! I felt so angry... It seems like school is having too many things to do!!!! OOHHHH... I am so going to be nuts if it continues like this!!!! Btw, still watching now... hahaha

between pissed... or happy...

2009-07-24T21:52:00.002+08:00
OK, today was ok.... Quite pissed at a few things... Well, what can I say?? School life will never be perfect! :(
Glad tat I have a lot of good friends... :))
At least, I know tat they will always have my back... :)
Btw, today History test was quite easy!! Hope I'll make it for F&N... :)
I felt as if this world is really testing me u know!
Why life has to be so complicated??? God, just please help me to go through all these problems....... Pray... Pray... Pray...
God, I've tried my best to survive... But, it seems tat survive is just too much for me.. I need ur strength to help me go through this life! Just please anyone help me.... I am hurt here... Seems like nobody notices it... Well, Rayz did... She asked me whether I am fine or not... She knows tat deep down inside, I am not ok.

Need help...

Things are not right here.

bit sick... lol

2009-07-17T15:24:00.002+08:00
Hmm.... Today is Friday....
I miss school!!! and my FRIENDS!!!!
OK, today woke up... Got a little bit cough... and flu
But, this afternoon, it all gets better
I just hope I can come to school on Monday!!!
I missed a lot of things!!!
I miss school and my friends and all the lessons!!!
God, please cure me??!!!
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

2009-07-10T18:20:00.002+08:00
hmm... today is my birthday...
10 July 2009... Well, thx for everyone tat said happy birthday to me!! Well, just figure out, all this time suffering 4 him, it means absolutely nothing...
All my feelings 4 him have been washed up by the crashing waves...
He ignores me.. Well, who cares... I don't feel anything again 4 you...
I feel absolutely empty...
He is insanely dreamy... Well, not dreamy anymore cause now I feel nothin 4 him... He's outta my mind... He's one a**hole who's heart only made of stone.. Actually, can't blame him again, now I can only blame myself... Go away from me... Just don't smile, don't try to look at me.. Just go away to ur sweety....
I don't care bout u anymore...
Bye, now my heart feels nothin...

Bye to u

Don't try to look at me.. Kay??

bye

bye

P.S. need painkiller.... 4 this broken heart...
Feel so emo today, but I have to smile... Cause today is my birthday...
Thx 4 all my friends who have been support me all this time...

:) I'll try to smile... 4 tomorrow....

Teardrops on My Guitar- Taylor Swift's lyrics

Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
What I want and I need
And everything that we should be

I'll bet she's beautiful
That girl he talks about
And she's got everything
That I have to live without

Drew talks to me
I laugh 'cause it's just so funny
I can't even see
Anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love
He's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows
He's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

Drew walks by me
Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight
Give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky 'cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

So I drive home alone
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down
And maybe get some sleep tonight

'Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into
Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see

feel so stupid...

2009-07-09T17:23:00.002+08:00
Gotta be honest with myself now...
I feel so stupid now...
Just stupid... And idiot...
For breaking that promise and hell yeah! That promise is made by me.. by me, but still break that promise...
The promise is to forget abt him... forget not remember or try to remember... but to forget!
The hard thing is he exists, and he's at school, and he's alive.. U know, still breathing... So, it's kinda hard not to break that promise...
Well, btw now... Just finished doing F&N hw.. Gotta make mind map... Stupid mind map... Don't know what to do...
Feel so iritated...
Feel so stupid...
Feel so alone... AKA lonely...
Feel so dumb...
Feel like an idiot...

Bye...

Bye...

Let me go to Heaven now... Prob. life won't be soo sucks if u just accept everything ... probably....

Bye...

Bye...

Hate myself... Hate him... Hate everything...

Just a day b4 my birthday...

And still, having this stupid heartbroken...

Bye...

Bye...

Should've known better...

Bye MJ

2009-07-07T23:09:00.003+08:00
Today, from what I heard from the news, MJ will be burried at Staples Centre... It'll be from 12 pm to 4 pm, but from where I live, it'll be from 12 am to 4 am. I already recorded it from CNN, gotta wait for 1 more hour. It's 11.12 pm now... Hix hix.. Why did MJ have to go now?? It's like ur having this hole inside u... hix hix hix... Bye MJ! U GOne Too Soon,.. MIss you already... :(((
I will never forget you... You'll always be in my heart... Bye MJ

2009-07-05T17:13:00.001+08:00

2009-07-05T17:03:00.003+08:00

2009-07-03T18:32:00.002+08:00
Hi friends!!! Well, it is almost a month since the last time I wrote in my blog... :P
Btw, well, have to update my condition and situation right?? lol
So, got back to school on 29 June 2009. Then, now is 3 July... Friday...
OK, two days ago just made a promise that I would forget that "problem". Unfortunately, that "problem" showed up again today!!! It showed up after recess!!! Damnt!! Why that so-called problem has to show again??!! And it's today!!! UGH!! help me... Why this had to happen again??? The dazzling smile, the happy eyes, the perfect person.... I hate u...
I will say I hate u 100x but still, I know that inside I'll never forget you...
so tired.....

P.S. I hate u... I hate u... Why do u have to exist??

BYE GUYS!!!

2009-06-11T21:25:00.001+08:00
Tomorrow I gotta go!!! So, bye guys and girls!! :))
I am so happy... See u guys when I get back!!!

hmm... love is soooo hard to understand...

2009-06-10T19:42:00.005+08:00
I must weep, but they are cruel tears. This sorrow's heavenly,
it strikes where it doth love. She wakes.
-Erik Knight, Untamed, from Othello script-

I don't know why I love this qoute but seriously, since I read Marked and all the House of Night series, I felt that poetries facinate me!!
OK, I'm not a nerd or dork or such things?! But, these kinda things just facinate me especially if it's romantic... :P
It's just intriguing that love can make so many things happen, including this Othello script, where in the end Othello strangled his love Desdemona b'coz he thought Desdemona had been messing around with him...
I mean, damn! This thing is just confusing! Love and passion!! O man, I gotta learn more abt love,, Seriously the fact that love in reality is completely different from love in books is quite true...
In this new era, sometimes, love is not enough... Money is important 2!! Like in novels, with love everything is possible... Somehow, my heart just can't grasp and accept that completely... or thoroughly..

OK, I'm turning into a geek... I have to stop this... Probably after I went for a vacation, my mind will be back to normal.. Just pray guys for me kay?? lol
bye....

P.S.can't wait for that day to come!!

this sucks but, I don't know how to say it...

2009-06-10T19:42:00.001+08:00

in need of a therapy... look at this ...

2009-06-09T23:32:00.002+08:00
"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very Dark, but there were stars--points of light and reason...And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizen, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."
-Edward Cullen- from New Moon

2009-06-08T15:25:00.002+08:00
My heart is hurt like being torn apart... My love life sucks and I know it...
My life is crazy and it really has its moments... Everything sucks... And I know it...
My life sucks without you... Just like Kelly says... People surrounds me... Thinking that I'm OK, but actually this pain will never go away... I want to say that I'm fine, but I know it'll never be fine... I just want to go away now... people thought that everything is easy... They said no need to be so sad... No need to be so scared... No need to be so fragile... But, I can't change that... This is me.. I won't change... I can't change... I need to go home... Desperately need to go home... Tried to hide behind this shadow... But, I know that someday I need to say something... The truth... which is always in my mind... I need to go home... Just go home... And everything will be fine...

bored.... but have to do maths hw...

2009-06-08T15:07:00.002+08:00
hehehe.... Finally can update my blog.... So bored today but, not really cause I have finished Chosen and Untamed books!!
So I started reading Hunted..... Can't wait for Tempted in November this year!!!
Btw, my mom said that before going , I have to finish all my hw!!
That includes EL, MT, Math, and Science!
So far, I have finished Science, EL, and MT...
So, I haven't finished Maths!!! :P
I really need some1 to stop me from reading just for a while, so that I can concentrate doing hw! .... :P

Btw, I really get addicted to Facebook and Twitter... But, actually there's nothing much to do at Twitter... But, it's kinda interesting because you can see Ashton Kutcher's twitting abt a lot of things...:)))
Luv Ashton !!!!!

Ok, got to go now... Following a quiz on facebook!!
SO, A BIG HUG AND A BIG BYE....

P.S. still can't forget you... Wonder why?? This is because of reading too much romance novels...

GOT CAUGHT BY MOMMY.....

2009-06-05T19:33:00.002+08:00
hihihihi... Today finally finished Betrayed book! So happy, it's nice book you know... :)
Btw, today got caught by mommy that my dad already bought all the House Of Night series for me!! she found the bill in the car!!! :{{
Freaked out you know!! Suddenly, she showed me the bill and started to ask me questions... So I answer it all truthfully!! Said that it's one of dad's ideas.. It's true!!!! No lies!!!!!!
btw, have to start reading Chosen!! luv the book!! But, still Twilight is the best!!!! No doubt abt it!!! :)
You might be wondering why everyday I post somethin, but I had nothing to do , so hehehe... Got to do sumthing right??
So, c u tom!!
Hope tom. will be a better day!!

P.S. still thinking abt it... Is it destiny?? But, I wonder if you ever think of me???

bored

2009-06-04T22:18:00.004+08:00
bored.... way too much bored,,,
Today went to the bank with my parents....
Near Boat Quay,,, So beautiful there as usual... :)
Amazed !!
Btw, today finally can buy Betrayed...
I am so happy with my dad... THx dad ur da best!!
Today also had to accompany my sister to her EL course.
So, we waited at Starbucks... Love Chocolate Cream Chip! :P
Hope tom. can be a better day !! With everything in it becomes better...

P.S. I have to breathe... Without you... Cause I'm tired waiting for something that will never come true... I hate dreaming about you cause it'll make things worse... Nothing could ease my pain... I hate you.. Cause you don't even realise it...