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Been Gone for a long time... When I first entered Poly life, I was afraid.I was basically afraid of EVERYTHING- of the new culture I'm gonna face, of the new friends, will they accept me, of the teachers, of the crazy assignments, deadlines, you get it. But, things started to change. It got better. You gained some friends, gained new experiences, you learnt new things and skills that you thought you never had in you. You had CCA, you became a whole new person that is basically a better version of yourself because this new person dares to take risks, dares to challenge herself. Then, things went rough for awhile, the crazy deadlines, you got separated from your friends, the teachers got a little scarier and maybe you're not as good as you think. Basically doubts started to set in, again... Then, things got better again. You believed in yourself again and you realized, "Hey, it's just a rough patch. It will be alright." Now, I'm questioning myself. I'm in this 'thing' where at first, I thought I loved it. I thought to myself, "Hey, maybe joining this 'thing' is a good idea. I will expand my creativity, I will utilize this skill." Best of all, this 'thing' accepted me. Now, I'm not so sure anymore. It was like a movie. A new kid entered a new school, she got popular for awhile, then things went downhill. She figured out that her clique is not as great as it used to be. People changed but worst of all, she did not change. She stuck to being herself. Even worse, the people that used to care, had to go and now being replaced by new people. This so called 'new people' are nice. Yeah, they made you laugh, they made you happy for a moment. But then reality sets in, they don't really care about you. They just thought of you as an old member, as a somebody that is there but it doesn't really matter because well, she's not that important. They just talk to you because they had to. They secretly feel sorry for you, but when you weren't there, it didn't matter because it made no difference. So, I guess that kid is me. I'm not saying that I was popular then I became a nobody. It is just a reference, a similar scenario except that I'm never the popular kid... At least I don't think so. People knew my name, but that's all. She's just another face in the crowd. How can a nobody stands out? How can a plain simple girl be different from the crowd? “I didn't know why I was going to cry, but I knew that if anybody spoke to me or looked at me too closely the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of the throat and I'd cry for a week.” ― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
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ThE StorY My name is Nadia. I am a girl who is insane, bubbly, cheerful and emotional. I am 16. ThE BanD This is the blog where I pour my thoughts, hopes and dreams. Occasionally abandoned but still worth seeing :) AspirationS
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