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Bad bad feelings... "I guess the bad thing about me is I tend to keep my feelings inside. I just keep on piling it up, like some dirty laundry."Yes, I know it is really bad. I'm not suppose to do so, but I can't help it. It is easier to do that than actually saying it out loud. Because to do so means you're admitting that you are not fine, that you are just lying to yourself about the whole thing. This whole thing is affecting me again, the insecurity starts to come up again. Maybe because they're never gone, they just stay there, waiting... just waiting. Here we go again, these feelings are creeping up again. See? Easier to not admit it. Easier to just let it pass by. Low self-esteem has always been a problem. Sometimes, I'm afraid that one day I will go into a depression because things are just way too bad and I won't be able to handle it. Hope not though... I keep on telling myself to be strong, not for my sake, but for others. I can't afford to lose these people that I love. I can't afford to be alone. I've been to that dark place before, I never really fall to it but it was close. I was close to falling down to the dark side. I was on the edge of it. Honestly, it was terrible. It was lonely, it was more than lonely, it was depressing. I thought that I would be alone for the rest of my life, it was simply terrifying. That time, I thought that I would never find a way out. I was trapped in that cage of loneliness, of solitude. I didn't know what to do, thought I would never escape it. But then I did. Maybe not completely but I did escape the clutch of darkness. So, here we are. I do hope that things are going to be better... Song of the day: Just Give Me a Reason - Pink http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpQFFLBMEPI
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ThE StorY My name is Nadia. I am a girl who is insane, bubbly, cheerful and emotional. I am 16. ThE BanD This is the blog where I pour my thoughts, hopes and dreams. Occasionally abandoned but still worth seeing :) AspirationS
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